3. Self Control is the Gateway to Service

Looking back on my 6 "lessons" learned in the first 3 weeks of teaching, I am surprised to find that they still ring true to me. I wonder if this will be the case by the end of the year? I have now been in the classroom for over two months (it feels like much longer) and point number 3 feels more true than ever.

Found this on Reddit. 

Self control is an attribute our society at large struggles with. Instant gratification, 24/7 access to whatever whimsical or serious need we think up, and the false sense of value placed on "being busy" are just a few things I see as contributing to the degrading of this important characteristic.

Beyond our drive-thru and on-demand culture, self control manifests itself in education in a way I had not anticipated. When I started at my school, many teachers and the Principal told me, "Never let them see you sweat." In other words, don't let the students know that they are getting to you.

Well that did't work out so well.

Never in my life have I struggled more to control my words, the level of my voice, and the negative flood of emotions that inundate room 27 each day. Not to mention managing the frustration with things outside the classroom such as impossible insurance rates for teachers, apartment problems, and a seemingly never-ending workload that appears to have assassinated personal and family time.

Many days I keep my own tally of happy and sad points on the whiteboard, just to help me better manage my own person, and maybe help the students (who are 7-8 years old) begin to understand that everyone, young and old, must learn to manage their feelings.

:( = moments I lost control and went crazy
:) = moments I managed the chaos of my own feelings

The result of my two month wrestle with such feelings of anger and inadequacy have not rendered me as a new hero or refined instructor. At least not yet. 

But I do know that in order to actually help my students and my family, I first need to be able to control and help myself. Thus self control is the gateway to service. It is so easy to say, but very difficult to do. 

How can we help the hungry if we spend excess on food ourselves? How do we thoughtfully serve others if we are too busy being worried and depressed about our own shortcomings? 

The US Air Force mantra of "Service Before Self" is a companion of the concept I am addressing here. In order to serve others before ourselves, we must have mastery over our own passions, desires, and emotions. We must manage our own person, and then actively choose to lift others before putting our own ambitions forward. 

Quick Thought: Are Teachers in General "Expendables"?

So I went to one of those seeming time-wasting sites where you can take a quiz. This quiz determines what Star Trek character you would be if you lived in that amazing universe of creatures and pioneers. 

As it turns out, I am an "Expendable Character" AKA "Redshirt". 

Here is my full report. 

My favorite part is the note about my job being important 

and the correlation to death. 

Something about this is interesting to me as I reflect on the perspective of teachers in general. When you break down a first year teacher's salary, they make about 5-6 dollars an hour. I actually made more than that working at Subway 6 years ago.

Everyone knows that the job of teachers is very important. Unlike Star Trek,  in real life there aren't enough main characters to change the plot of the continuing debacle of American education for those in poverty. We need many more redshirts to be main characters in making a change. But in order for that to happen, maybe a change of clothes would be a good start?

The question to which I have no answer is: What is the equivalent of changing out of a red shirt in Star Trek to the change in the real world? Not just for teachers, but for everyone involved with education (parents, teachers, administrators, policy makers, etc).

2. Teachers Really Are Superhuman

The second point I am pondering in my list of things I've been learning is that with all jokes and cutsy frivolousness aside: teachers really are superhuman.

I want to make it clear, I am not calling myself superhuman or ALL teachers for that matter. But I have seen teachers who do all the stuff required of them and more. 

For example, some of these teachers: prepare unit plans, create lesson plans, work like crazy to get new classroom supplies for free through contacts, connect personally with all their students and families, quickly respond to all administration and district requirements, actually pay attention in professional development meetings, are constantly positive, are fine with little sleep, jump through all the hoops both the state and federal government push them through, and most importantly actually help kids learn both academic and social skills that set them up for a successful future. The list could go on for a very long time. I just don't have enough experience or ability to keep it going. 

I am working my best to get there. It would be nice to just have one of those slick montages you see in the movies (think Stand and Deliver, or Freedom Writers) happen in real life. You know, where the teacher is angry and depressed and the students hate each other. THEN the music starts and about 2 minutes later the classroom is united by some glorious and common goal and the teacher's face is glistening with tears of joy. Sort of like how Mulan was an awkward week stranger, and then she became a gladiator-like Kung Fu master. Wouldn't that be cool? 

                                    

Why does our society as a whole seem to just not care that these superhuman teachers are basically serfs amongst us? This is a complex and weighted questions and I realize there are many answers or deflections to it. Either way, things are simply messed up in the US of A when it comes to education. I don't know what the solution is.